Being a foreigner makes you vulnerable, even more so, if you are a female travelling by yourself. Here is what I advise anybody going out on their own.
Rather than be afraid, be prepared
Growing up in the country, I am blessed with a naturally confident disposition. Despite of that, I took a self-defense course in my mid-teens. The lessons learnt then still remain with me today. You don't necessarily have to become a karate black belt, trust me, even a few simple moves may be able to distract an aggressor and buy you time to escape. In addition, it will do wonders in helping you feel strong rather than weak.
Always let someone know who you are with, where you are going
As I said in the introduction, I have met great people while abroad, most of them men, who turned from voluntary tour guides to great friends. In order to meet people you have to get out there, speak to people, allow them meet up with you, invite you for dinner etc. I have been on many excursions, places that I would have never found on my own, often also alone in a strangers car. But I never just got in.
When abroad one of my first things to do, is to find myself a cafe and/or a bar where I quickly start chatting with the staff. I make a point of remembering their names and going back to the same place to establish a bit of a relationship. If I meet someone or group of people, I arrange to hook up at that bar or cafe, rather than at my place. You don't want strangers to know exactly where you live, especially if you live alone. Then if they don't already know the bar staff, I make a point of introducing them, and sliding in a piece of information such as
'Hey, this is Pierre, he works for XYZ. We are heading to PocoLoco for the evening. But I'll drop by for another drink before I go home'.
That way, you are sure somebody has at least seen who you left with and that your date understands you've left traces.
Trust your gut, and don't be stupid
One rule I always live by, is that I make my own rules. Anybody who isn't prepared to obey my wishes, doesn't get a first (or second) chance. There are more decent than non-decent people in this world, so you don't have to settle. If I say, I want to meet them at the restaurant, and they insist on picking me up, too bad. It is my way or the highway, and if I find them to be argumentative right from the start, I drop them right there and then. Until I know them better and feel comfortable that the person or group of people is trustworthy, I am very disciplined. Even then, as my Mother has always said: trust is good, control better.
Nobody who is halfway responsible will not honor your wishes or won't understand that you'd rather be safe than sorry. Yes, you may have to battle egos. Like I told a Spanish guy once:,No, I don't trust you. I've known you for exactly 2 hours and if you had a daugter, you would not want her to do that either.' He agreed.
Speaking about drinks
Alcohol can seriously cloud your view. You may want to have a drink to drop some of your inhibitions around approaching strangers and speaking another language. I can honestly say, that I have never been so drunk, I wasn't alert enough to register danger and run in a straight line.
Also, I suggest you watch your drinks. You can accept someone buying you a Martini, but make sure you know exactly what is in it. Don't leave it unattended either, for example during a washroom break. If in doubt, tell them you don't like it, or ask them to finish it. Again, no need to be rude, but be persistent.
Don't be naive
Meeting people in groups is different, but none of the individual men I met, started interacting just to be a tour guide. The sooner you let them know that you aren't interested in sex (if that is the case) the better. Yes, I could have gone on more dates or excursions, had I been a little more flirty. However,it is all about being safe. It is generally speaking easier to walk away from a guy who isn't half drunk and has spent the evening rubbing up against you. And if he really truly cares about you, he will wait and in the meantime respect your wishes. Just as they do back home.
(Any of the suggestions offered are based on my personal experience and should not be taken as guidelines or guarantees for remaining safe. Please use your own discretion and speak to a specialist for professional advice).
Anne has been writing for many years, entertaining and educating many around the globe. You can check out more of her writings on Large Patio Umbrellas or find out what she has been researching on Badger Shaving Brushes
No comments:
Post a Comment